Midlands Dad, Welcome

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Yeah, so, a midlife crisis. Am I in it? Not sure. Could be. There are certainly crises, often in my life. And I mid-life-ish, 35. So I guess I could be in a midlife crisis. I’m probably not though. My life is complex, yes, it is challenging, at times. But it is fun. It is rewarding. And it is a about to get even more challenging but even more fun.

Baby number two is on its way. Baby number two is not just on its way, it is pretty much fully grown. We are less than a few weeks from our due date. They (not twins, we just don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl) are due 2 days before the UK general election.

This blog, not this blog right here, but this series of blogs will: track, describe, evaluate and analyse my story of becoming a father of two. It is going to share with you my experiences of welcoming our second child into this world. What it means for me. What it means for our family.

The initial focus of these first few blogs will be to share with you my experience of using Shared Parental Leave; what it was like, why we did, did it work, what was good, what was bad and can we afford it. But also how we manage becoming new parents again.

Only 5% of eligible fathers take up Shared Parental Leave. The UK Governments evaluation of the policy admits that people find it hard to understand. Their reports suggests the policy’s complexity could be a reason why the uptake of Shared Parental Leave is relatively low – my initial steps into accessing the Shared Parental Leave supports this - but that detail is for another blog – I think societal gender norms play a part too.

Before I get into my own personal opinions about the division of caring responsibilities between men and women in their own private households, I think it is important I am open and honest with you. I am medium level woke. Sometimes on some topics I am quite woke. Some things I am not very woke. Other things I am medium level woke. Therefore, I think I have medium, I’m in the Midlands of wokeness.

One thing I am woke on, is that I think policy positions that enable dads to have more time off with their new kids at the beginning of those kids life is good for the children, good for the dads and, maybe most importantly, it is good for the mums too!

Breaking down societal gender norms regarding the role of the father in our society is on a journey. Yes, it is on a good journey, but I think we can do more. Me using Shared Parental Leave as I become a new dad again, is a vote, is a demonstration, for the policy future I want us to have – dads having more time to be dads to kids and dads having more time to be great partners to mums is a great thing. And I think is probably good for economic and social outcomes.

I know not every family is mum and dads, remember, I said I am medium level wokeness. For the record, I think the legalisation of same sex marriage is one of (I’m a nerd so I also like the uplift in the personal allowance as well which lifted lower earners out of tax is the right thing to do and a great policy) the best policies our parliament has ever produced, even if 22 Labour MPs tried to stop it, and even if Labour had 13 years to legislate for it and never did it. Medium level wokeness.

Mum and Dad, me the Dad, and my partner the Mum, is the language of our family so will be the language for this blog.

Why this blog. Why right now. Well, I think, what is there for dads out there? What resources are we, as men, sharing? What are we doing to help ourselves? To help us understand, in my case, a transition from a binge drinking and regularly hungover someone in their early 30s to someone in their mid-30s responsible for the lives and developments of two children.

This will be my story. The shit I do good. The shit I do bad. The shit I buy I don’t need. The shit I buy that works. The balance of life, a fun happy family life alongside being ambitious and surviving in the workplace – or at least trying to make that happen. And what the policy landscape of a new Labour government means to our family.

There is one thing more, why this blog and why now. And I mentioned it at the beginning. We are facing a hugr change of government in this country. In 2010, David Cameron did not grasp a majority. He needed the help of the noble (at the time) Liberal Democrats to get him into office. Not a bad result for him really, he was still overturning a decent Labour Majority. 2024 looks more like 1997. Huge majority. Lots of Labour MPs in every corner in of the country. I’m going to blog, what this new government means for me and my family, our life and our dreams, what it means for our real life.

I invite you to read my story and to contribute.